midnight blue, just like you

I love coming home smelling like him
b/c of the wonderful hugs he gives me
and the way he holds me.

How his very motions tell me of his love,
the simple way he melts into my arms &I into his.

How he can not hide it,
I saw it,
a hidden something in his eyes
like a pondering question
behind hazel eyes.
Denied of existence
but not for long,
for long longings do not like to lay in wait.
the weight of which is far to great to bear
--an emotion buried deep beneath.
one that needed to breathe
you needed to breathe
out this emotion
Calling it into being
for yourself &for I
And
we
called
it
love

in the morning my dear

its super late
&im suppose to be doing hmwk
but im a great procrastinator
too bad being a great procrastinator doesnt make you so great at school

i have not posted in forever
obviously

i now have a boyfriend
& a boy friend has got me
he makes me soo happy
he loves me so much
& i lovvve that
and i love him
i just havent told 'em
but i will,
manana le dire,
in the morning my dear.
--maybe more like lunch or brunch.
and for dinner friday,
papas en la casa de mis papas.
para que el los conosca y que ellos tambien

missing: gold coins

so i totally accidentally deleted a post/blog i liked
the Love Shall Drive out Fear or something like that...
lame

when i grow up... I wana be a woman

i just hope
im becoming the woman he deserves.
the woman my husband needs.
The woman God intended me to be
all along from the very beginning,
When he spoke things into being.
because the question is not to be or not to be
but am i
be
ing
am i
be
coming,
loving.

day 129-09

the sheets still smell like my sister
ive lost my sister and gained a horrible horrible man
i know young boys greater men than he
and a beautiful soul will have to be born into this mess
God save us all

secret

i fear expressing myself

sometimes b/c i feel it will be taken as a cry for attention
sometimes b/c i think ppl will think im stupid.
they will think how ever could you have thought that,
heck no i dont like you,
i dont like her anymore &dont want to be friends w/her
shes so weird

Claude Monet

Go on
&speak those words,
you know the ones.
Answer all her questions,
the ones fear does not utter.
worry not about awkwardness for it lives not in the company of truth
&honesty will paint reality,
& it shall be a beautiful picture.

we are invisible

alksjflkdjafhds IT SUCKS!
That those who went out to the state capitol in demonstration of the child kidnappings that are going on in Uganda and the neighboring areas have not been rescued. they are out there waiting for a public figure in government or film or culture to go take a stand with them, lending their voice for the cause in Uganda/'rescuing them' from the capitol lawn were we were symbolically abducted to yesterday at 3pm.

More than 800 showed up to take a stand for justice
we wrote letters to our senators
we called news stations
i slept under an umbrella as it rained throughout the night
we called cnn
again and agian
we annoyed cnn
but they annoyed us as well
we touched the heart of maya angelou
but no one came
no one rescued us

no one cares

help! in need of rescue

It breaks my heart to know that our children are being abducted --and we dont even realize it
the cries and weeps of mothers are going unheard
we dont even realize what is going on &we feel as though we cant help them
but we can
because We The People
have the power
to ask our government --plead with our elected leaders
to do something
&it was for this purpose that we gave them these powers

the babes from which praise should ring are being ripped from their homes
TERRORIZED
and forced to commit horrendous crimes
&murder or be murdered
NO CHILD OF 9YRS SHOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT
NO SON OR DAUGHTER
NO TEENAGER
NO HUMAN BEING
no No NO!

Know what is going on in northern Uganda & now the Congo
know about the children the world can not see being forced to be a part of the rebel army
know of how they suffer
KNOW THERE IS HOPE

we can not stand by and allow these kind of things to happen
in what circumstance is something like this ever ok
ok to kill
ok to abduct children and terrorize them into killing machines

ok to turn a blind eye toward
ok to not do something

alsdgfjkdjsfljskflkdmcHELP!

Americana exotica

My chest continues to feel as though some hideous winged beast flutters within.

yesterday the nervous and anxiety for one of my projects, a socratic discussion on evolution, could have killed me i was so nervous and worried about it.
it went well, very well. i dont know how good my written portion was but as i was walking out of class my professor yelled out 'good job miss. ovalle' soo that made me feel better
&then wed. i was nervous about my artt lesson plan presentation
most of my nervous stem from procrastinating and not knowing if im going to have the work done on time
but yea
that feeling still lingers though at times
the nervousness
its just not as big anymore
before it felt like i would throw up a small bird LOL
now maybe something a bit smaller
like Americana exotica
or a monarch

but yea good thing school is almost over
not really, i have sooo much work these next 2wks that im not even thinking about finals b/c these weeks are so BIG and important to me that finals seem small and tiny
so i cant enjoy the fact that im almost done with this semester

ill also be doing both summer schools
so ill be in SM and not SA for the most part
that sucks cause i wont get to see my SA friends much
or even less than i already was
we'll see
maybe ill go back to SA for the month of may

p.s. i really need to go to the McNay art museum in SA for my art class....